In February 1972 I got on an aeroplane in Toronto, heading home to Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. I was carrying a state-of-the-art (at the time) computer terminal. It fitted into a suit case small enough that I was allowed to carry it on to the plane and put it under the seat in front of me. As I was struggling to fit it under the seat, the passenger next to me watched my predicament with some measure of curiosity. When I finished my ordeal she asked me “what is that?” With a sense of pride I replied: “it’s a computer terminal”.
As we continued the conversation I explained that I was a research scientist and was building a computer simulation model to illustrate in the computer how trees grow. I then asked her:
“What do you do?” She said:
“I am a writer. I recently published a book called ‘On Death &Dying’. I am Elizabeth Kübler-Ross.”
Since I was reading mainly technical books and journals at that time, I never heard about her before. So, I continued to put my foot in it. I told her it was pretty gutsy for a writer to take on such a subject. She then smiled and said
“Actually, I am also a medical doctor”.
I was interested in the subject matter and we ended up having a good discussion about people’s reaction when they are told that they are terminally ill. She explained the five stages patients go through at that time:
Denial and isolation: “not me, it cannot be true”
Anger: “why me?”
Bargaining: “yes me…but”
Depression: “yes me”
Acceptance: “it’s OK”
She gave me an autographed copy of her book when I attended her lecture at the Plummer Hospital that evening. I drove her to the airport the next morning and continued to exchange Christmas cards for a few years afterwards.
Thirty two years later I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. On January 27, 2005 I started 37 sessions of radiation treatment in the Ottawa Cancer Clinic. During each session I had to lie on my stomach, the technician strapped a mold on my buttock and the radiation proceeded for about 12 minutes. At that time I often thought of the meeting I had with Dr. Kübler-Ross. I learned to have a deep appreciation of what is now called the “Elizabeth Kübler-Ross” model: the five stages of grief as a pattern of phases, most or all of which people tend to go through, not always in sequence, after being faced with the tragedy of their own impending death. While I was determined to survive cancer, I also faced the possibility that my body may not respond to the treatment as expected.
I was one of the fortunate ones thanks to the excellent cancer treatment facilities we have at the Ottawa Cancer Clinic. I responded well and I am now cancer free… as free as one can ever be.
The writings of Dr. Kübler-Ross inspired me to start a similar project after I completed my cancer treatments. This project involved collecting stories of cancer survivors about their reaction and courageous battles after they were told: “you have cancer”. I was lucky to have three other cancer survivors to join this project and we have collected heart-warming and emotions packed stories from 36 cancer survivors. We will publish these stories in a book called: “Death Can Wait – Stories from Cancer Survivors” by Frank Hegyi, Roslyn Franken, Jacquelin Holzman and Max Keeping. Book launching will be on August 23rd in Ottawa as part of “Dancing in the Street”. These stories give testimony to a new culture developing around cancer: “don’t think of death… think of survival” coined by one of the co-authors Max Keeping.
No comments:
Post a Comment