In January 2004, Dr. Nancy Clevette, my Family Physician informed me that my PSA reading was 9.0 which was a bit high and suggested that I see a specialist. I was referred to a Urological Surgeon who scheduled a blood test for me and found that the PSA reading was now 9.5 It took another 6 months to have a biopsy which turned out to be a very painful experience, it lasted for about 15 minutes while the Doctor took samples through a tube inserted in the rectum. I was called in by the Urological Surgeon’s office for September 21st to get the news on the results of the biopsy. My daughter Jennifer came with me for the 4:30 pm appointment. Because of the time elapsed between the biopsy and my appointment was relatively long, I was pretty sure that the Doctor was going to tell me that I do not have prostate cancer.
When it was time for me to go to the examining room, the nurse asked me if I wanted my daughter to be with me. I said no and told Jennifer that I will only be a minutes. The nurse escorted me to the private office of the doctor. He asked me to sit down then looked at me in the eyes and said: “Mr. Hegyi, the biopsy results indicate that you definitely have prostate cancer”. I almost fell off the chair. I had difficulty comprehending what the Doctor was telling me as I went into a deep shock. How could this happen to me, I don’t smoke, I eat healthy food and I exercise. I am only 66 years old.
He explained further that since he is a surgeon, he would perform the radical prostatectomy. The surgery takes from 3-4 hours and recovery may take a few weeks. There is a chance that the nerves run along each side of the prostate gland down to the penis may get damaged, which would then result in impotency for life. The surgeon then suggested that
I get another advice from an oncologist about an alternative possible cure: radiation, after which I was to call him back concerning my decision.
When I went back to the waiting room, Jennifer saw on my face that the news was not good. I told her that I had prostate cancer and then she went into shock. When we got home, we told the news to my wife Rose who started to cry. I poured myself a stiff drink of rye, sat in my favourite chair pretending to watch the news on TV, but my thoughts were miles away. I was thinking of the discussion I had with an old friend in 1973, Dr. Elizabeth Kübler Ross when we were discussing her new book “On Death and Dying” and especially the 5 stages terminal patients go through when they hear the “death sentence”: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. At that time I was a young research scientist and the discussions were only of academic interest, especially because my co-major for my M.Sc. degree was in bio-medical statistics. But now the thought occurred to me that I may be terminally ill and could end up another cancer statistics. Then, I looked at my 19 month old grandson (Ryan) and 2 months old granddaughter (Sara) who were in the room. I definitely wanted to live and decided that I will do whatever needed to be cured. I got strong support from my wife and daughter; Jennifer called her brother Mike and sister in law Penny and they also provided strong support by saying: “Dad, you are a survivor, you will beat this one, too. Besides, your two grandchildren here Nathan (17 years old) and Tassia (14 years old) expect you to be there at their graduation.” I told my son that they can count on that and I will even be there when Ryan and Sara graduate.
Being a scientist by training, I decided to learn all I could about this disease. So I carried out an extensive internet research on prostate cancer, including what it is, how it spreads, what treatments are available, what are the side effects and what are the chances of survival. I found this to be very important so that I could come to a decision on the treatment option that I would be most comfortable with.
On October 5th I met Dr. Samant an oncologist at the Ontario Regional Cancer Clinic (ORCC). Rose came with me to the clinic and as I looked around, there were many patients who looked rather ill, some without hair while others were in wheel chairs or lying in bed with life supporting tubes as they were taken in for radiation. Before seeing Dr. Samant, a Patient Designated Nurse sat down with us and went over the Facts Sheet, we discussed the Self Reporting Health History, and she gave us an overview of the cancer services at ORCC. Then Dr. Samant and an intern came in to talk to us about external beam radiation treatment, explained in detail its side effects that included fatigue, skin reaction, bladder irritation, bowel movement irregularity, possible impotence, and rectal irritation. After that he did a DRE and confirmed that he could not feel the tumour. I was then referred for another blood test and scheduled to see Dr. Samant again on October 20th at noon to confirm that I still want to take the external beam radiation option. When I saw Dr. Samant on the 20th he had the results of the PSA test which was 9.2 and I said “great, my diet is working since the PSA is coming down”. He was quick to correct me that the 0.3 score drop does not mean anything, I still had the cancer. I told Dr. Samant that I have definitely decided to take the radiation option. He said that I will get good support, he will be there for me should I run into complications.
Once I made a decision to take the external beam radiation treatment, I also checked out how a change in diet could benefit me. A report indicated that a low-fat, high-fiber diet and regular exercise can slow prostate cancer cell growth by up to 30 percent. So, I started to pay attention to my food consumption and even purchased a software package on internet called DietPower. Every day I recorded each food intake, including the amount, and drank lots of water.
My radiation treatment started January 27th 2005. Rose came with me on this day which made it much easier because when you see other patients who are going for radiation after finishing chemo, the impact of cancer really hits home. A friend of mine who went through the same
treatment suggested that I take with me my own dressing gown and slippers; psychologically it helps. I was glad that I took his advice, having my dressing gown was a lot more comfortable than those which the hospital provides. Then, I was escorted to one of four radiation rooms where there was a Primus Linear Accelerator equipment to do the external beam radiation. I climbed up on the bench and lay face down, dressing gown pulled up, bare bottom exposed, and the radiation therapists were then positioning me to line up the tattoo marks on my behind for the radiation. This took about 3 minutes then they told me not to move and placed the cold shell on me, strapped it down all around and said that they have to leave the room while the radiation takes place. The machine then moved around making different sounds as the radiation occurred, and 10-12 minutes later the therapists came back, un-strapped the shell, removed it, covered my behind with the dressing gown, and asked me to get down the same way as I got on the unit. I had to repeat this 5 times a week, and a total of 37 times. During this period, I also had to control my weight; it was not advisable to either gain or lose any weight in order to ensure that the radiation goes to the intended (marked) area. My computer software helped a lot in this regards.
During the 10-12 minutes of radiation sessions when I was lying on the table motionless, I was reflecting about a lot of things that happened to me. The first thing that came into mind: “will this work?” I spent some sessions in a state of despair and depression, thinking that how will I say goodbye to the family if they tell me that the radiation could not stop the spread of the cancer? I thought back to March 25th 1978 when I heard the news that the mother of my two children was in the hospital in Madison, Wisconsin, dying of cancer. We were divorced and I had custody of the children since they were 7 and 4. But, I made sure that the children would spend each summer with their mother. Now Michael was 16 and Jennifer was 13 years old. When I told them the news, Michael was crying and asked me to lend him the money so he can go to
see his mother before she dies. Rose and I agreed that I should take them to Madison right away, and that I should be there with them when the end comes. On March 26th I took Michael and Jennifer by plane from Victoria, B.C. (where we lived at that time) to Madison. Now I was fighting cancer, and was remembering the suffering that my ex-wife went through with the disease. She died 10 days after being admitted to hospital. On her final day just before the end came, she was heavily sedated with morphine, but the pain was still severe as she cried out “I am never going to leave this hospital alive”. I was then allowed a few minutes of private time to say goodbye to her. She said “Look after our children for me”. We then said goodbye, she knew the end was just a few minutes away and she was facing it bravely. I promised her that I will be there for the children and asked her to watch over them from heaven. Then, I took the children to the hospital chapel and we prayed that she be at peace and that God make her happy in heaven. We then went back to her room and she was finally at peace and I had to focus on comforting the children. These memories were so vivid, especially now that I was wondering if it is my turn now.
Most of the time when I went home after these sessions, Jennifer was there with the two grandchildren, Ryan and Sara. Rose made supper for us and the grandchildren would sit on my lap and I was thinking how lucky I am to have the support of the family. Son Michael and daughter-in-law Penny were in touch by phone and e-mail every week, along with their children Nathan and Tassia. This was very important, especially as the side effects started to show up and get stronger each day. I worked every day, then went for the treatment between 4:30 and 5:30 pm, after that I go home, have dinner and would get into bed by 8 pm. Two weeks into the treatment, I was experiencing a lot of pain during bowel movement and the urination became frequent (at one and a half hour intervals, including during the night) and came with a burning feeling. By the end of each week, bowel movement would include passing quite a bit of blood, then the pain eased a little bit over the weekend.
Four weeks into the treatment, I went for blood work and the results were given to me on March 9th.. A ray of sunshine and hope suddenly came into my life when the nurse told me that the PSA came down to 6.5 However, I was cautioned that PSA reading can move up and down and it was too early to draw any conclusion. So, back in the “wait and see state” I went, getting increasingly fatigued and irritated as the side effects were having a field day with me. I had to be careful not to snap at people if they disagreed with me because my patience was wearing thinner as I was going through the second half of the treatment.
On March 17th I went for a blood test again then had the radiation. When I went home I was alone in the bath room for a bowl movement that was particularly painful. After cleaning myself, I got up and noticed that I was bleeding heavily and continuously and this lasted for another half an hour.
My radiation treatment was completed on March 23rd but at that time I still not had the results of the PSA test. When I met with Dr. Samant that afternoon, he told me that the side effects will still be there for another 4-6 weeks, but if the radiation is successful, then the next PSA level should drop again. On March 31st got some good news that the PSA was down to 4.64 which meant that I was responding well to treatment. Then I received further good news in May that the PSA level dropped to 2.72 and Dr. Samant was pleased about this development. I had another blood test in July and the PSA level went further down to 1.0 My most recent PSA level was 0.35 in January 2009 and Dr. Samant only wants to see me in 2 years time.
During cancer treatment I made 3 resolutions that became the flagship of my bucket list.
First I resolved to document my colorful life experiences as a legacy to my children and grandchildren. These experiences include:
Experiences as freedom fighter in the 1956 Hungarian student revolution, narrowly escaping execution;
Living in refugee camps and daring to enter University as a high school dropout and succeeding in earning two college degrees;
Leading expeditions in the Amazon jungle, surviving attacks by wild animals and crew;
Travelling as research scientist and high tech entrepreneur throughout the world representing my adopted country (Canada);
Encounters with the KGB while visiting Soviet Union as member of a scientific delegation; and
Climbing up the ladder in service clubs to the position of District Governor, Kiwanis International.
I published this book in 2007 under the title: “Dare to Take the Next Step – Adventures of a Refugee” which is now available with several book distributors, including:
http://www.amazon.ca/Dare-Take-Next-Step-Adventures/dp/0981249507
The second resolution that I made was to attend the graduation of my grandchildren. I have already attended the High School graduation of my grandson, Nathan in Waunakee, Wisconsin on June 5, 2005. On June 6th 2008 I attended my granddaughter’s high school graduation and on May 16th 2009 I attended Nathan’s college graduation. I am determined to attend Ryan’s and Sara’s college graduation right up to when they graduate with PhD. degrees. I will only be 90 years young then!
The third resolution I made was to raise money for cancer research. So, in September 2007 I started to work on this book. I recruited Roslyn Franken, Jacquelin Holzman and Max Keeping (all cancer survivors) and with the help of the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation, we issued a public invitation to other cancer survivors to share their stories in an effort to help newly diagnosed cancer patients and at the same time we raise money for cancer research. With the first
edition of Death Can Wait, we have already raised close to $5,000. In addition, my grandson Ryan and I are raising money to support cancer research at the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario (CHEO). In May 2008 we rode 12 km on bicycles and raised $750 then this in 2009, we raised $850. I am very grateful to the staff at the Cancer clinic for the great job they have done. My message to men who are over 50, get an annual check-up and PSA test, cancer can be beaten if it is diagnosed early enough and if you lead a healthy life and exercise regularly.
I have taken the cancer treatment as a wake-up call. In the summer I try to play golf once a week and when the weather is bad, I work out in a health club for an hour on the tread mill. I still watch my food intake and monitor it with the computer software.
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