Psychological adjustments required for the transition from middle age to seniors.
Middle age is generally considered to occur approximately between the ages of 40 and 60 years. Physical symptoms of middle age include loss of skin elasticity, graying of hair, declines in fitness and increases in body fat. These physical symptoms become more conspicuous after 60 years as adults enter the golden age. As these changes occur, psychological adjustments take various forms, ranging from graceful acceptance of aging to complete denial. The ability to accept the changes that one experiences during such transition appears to be an important ingredient of happiness. While each person has his/her own way of dealing with the changes that occur during the transition, some practices are known to be more successful under different scenarios. Examples of these practices are presented here under their corresponding scenarios.
Scenario: retirement. Some people experience serious difficulties as they face retirement, exhibited in the form of depression, boredom, loneliness and lack of purpose in life. Others get involved in hubbies, volunteer work, physical fitness and social activities. These retirees often say: “I am busier now than I have ever been. I wonder how I had time to work before I retired”. These are the happy ones and generally live long enough to enjoy retirement and their pension benefits.
Scenario: facing old age. Some people have difficulty accepting the symptoms of getting older and will try hard to look and act younger, often making absolute fools of themselves. Others, on the other hand, accept old age gracefully without getting frustrated with the reduction in stamina and the changes in the physical appearances. They proudly accept the senior’s discounts in stores and dress appropriately. But the most importance sign of acceptance involves scaling down on previous activities and finding happiness in new ventures, such as enjoying a good meal with loved ones and friends, getting involved in social activities appropriate for seniors and focusing on family values. These seniors find happiness in relatively small things and events and appreciate that each day is a new beginning, grateful for the opportunity of being alive and having good health.
Scenario: becoming grand-parents. Some find it difficult to accept reaching the grand-parent stage in life, including having active young ones around who disturb the peaceful afternoons and evenings on the weekends. Other fill their wallets with pictures of the grand children and proud to show them to anyone willing to listen to the stories that they are the most wonderful little people ever been born.
Scenario: personal. I have chosen to deal with the transition from middle age to seniors in my own way. I have accepted with grace that I have put on a few pounds and feel less energetic than I used to feel 20 years ago. I am grateful that professionally I can do assignments much faster than when I was a know-it-all young graduate. So I decided that I will never retire but may slow down after age 80! When I reached 70 I started to use a powered golf cart and changed my focus of getting “exercise” to playing a good game of golf. I am privileged to have 6 grand children, ranging in ages from 5 to 22. I am very proud to admit that I have a grand-son who is a college graduate, I usually qualify the puzzled looks with a statement that I started to have a family when I was only 23. As a grand-parent, I am very lucky. I have the opportunity of looking after the two youngest grandchildren every day for a couple of hours after work. We have fun and I am getting to know these two wonderful young people on a daily basis. I now understand the saying: “If I knew grand children would be this much fun, I would have had them first”. I am just a happy senior.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Back to School
Challenges facing children, parents and teachers
Another summer has passed by and children, parents and teachers are getting ready for the start of a new school year. School supplies are displayed in many stores close to the entrance and the shelves are stacked with colorful backpacks, insulated lunch kits, fancy water bottles, innovative homework helpers, kid’s activity kits and school supplies. These items are being promoted for the younger children with images of favorite cartoon characters like Dora and Princess from TV programs such as the Tree House. For the older kids more sophisticated supplies are displayed such as laptop and desk top computers, PDA’s and calculators. Shopping is in full swing two weeks before school starts and stores are full with children and their parents as they try to find the best bargains in an effort to stay within budget.
Parents have an opportunity of making back to school shopping a memorable event for their children. It is such a wonderful thing to see the smiling faces of children walking in the store with their Mum or Dad (or both) projecting an image that “I am important, this is my day”. Parents, use these days wisely and with patience, take it from a proud grandfather that children grow up very fast; enjoy each day to the fullest while it lasts.
Children starting Junior Kindergarten may be apprehensive about going to school, there will be a few tears shed, but those who are going back to school will likely be excited to see their friends again. My youngest granddaughter proudly declared that “I am now in grade one; I am a big girl now”. Students will need to rise to many challenges such as adjusting to the teachers and school mates, getting used to doing homework, and behaving with respect to those around them. Parents will need to make sure that their children receive healthy nutrition, prepare peanut-free lunches, provide support for homework and ensure early bed time on school days. One of the most important challenges for parents is to be good role models.
Teachers will be challenged to deliver educational material in a way that keeps the attention of students connected, as well as they need to establish effective ground rules for behaviour right at the start. Their challenge is huge; they are entrusted not just with education, but with shaping the lives of young people. Their influence can make the difference between success and failure as children are growing up. I still remember the support that I received from my mother at the start of each school year, shopping for school supplies and buying clothes. I felt important and special. The support and encouragement of my High School Math teacher helped me psychologically through the university years.
A particularly challenging aspect of guiding children through the school years is dealing with the impacts of Internet, electronic games and television. We grandparents never had these “toys” when we were going to school, and even our children (the parents of the children going to school today) had limited exposure to such hi tech attention takers. The challenge is to keep these programs/games in good balance with school and homework; they can be educational but they can also cause distraction from receiving a well balanced education. Television channels can be restricted, purchases of games can be supervised, but the use of Internet is more challenging to regulate. Parents need to check regularly how their children use the internet and guide them to stay away from communicating with “bad” people and from downloading undesirable movies. It is important to be diligent; our future is in the hands of the children of today.
Another summer has passed by and children, parents and teachers are getting ready for the start of a new school year. School supplies are displayed in many stores close to the entrance and the shelves are stacked with colorful backpacks, insulated lunch kits, fancy water bottles, innovative homework helpers, kid’s activity kits and school supplies. These items are being promoted for the younger children with images of favorite cartoon characters like Dora and Princess from TV programs such as the Tree House. For the older kids more sophisticated supplies are displayed such as laptop and desk top computers, PDA’s and calculators. Shopping is in full swing two weeks before school starts and stores are full with children and their parents as they try to find the best bargains in an effort to stay within budget.
Parents have an opportunity of making back to school shopping a memorable event for their children. It is such a wonderful thing to see the smiling faces of children walking in the store with their Mum or Dad (or both) projecting an image that “I am important, this is my day”. Parents, use these days wisely and with patience, take it from a proud grandfather that children grow up very fast; enjoy each day to the fullest while it lasts.
Children starting Junior Kindergarten may be apprehensive about going to school, there will be a few tears shed, but those who are going back to school will likely be excited to see their friends again. My youngest granddaughter proudly declared that “I am now in grade one; I am a big girl now”. Students will need to rise to many challenges such as adjusting to the teachers and school mates, getting used to doing homework, and behaving with respect to those around them. Parents will need to make sure that their children receive healthy nutrition, prepare peanut-free lunches, provide support for homework and ensure early bed time on school days. One of the most important challenges for parents is to be good role models.
Teachers will be challenged to deliver educational material in a way that keeps the attention of students connected, as well as they need to establish effective ground rules for behaviour right at the start. Their challenge is huge; they are entrusted not just with education, but with shaping the lives of young people. Their influence can make the difference between success and failure as children are growing up. I still remember the support that I received from my mother at the start of each school year, shopping for school supplies and buying clothes. I felt important and special. The support and encouragement of my High School Math teacher helped me psychologically through the university years.
A particularly challenging aspect of guiding children through the school years is dealing with the impacts of Internet, electronic games and television. We grandparents never had these “toys” when we were going to school, and even our children (the parents of the children going to school today) had limited exposure to such hi tech attention takers. The challenge is to keep these programs/games in good balance with school and homework; they can be educational but they can also cause distraction from receiving a well balanced education. Television channels can be restricted, purchases of games can be supervised, but the use of Internet is more challenging to regulate. Parents need to check regularly how their children use the internet and guide them to stay away from communicating with “bad” people and from downloading undesirable movies. It is important to be diligent; our future is in the hands of the children of today.
Remembering 9-11
It was 8:46 am September 11 when I am started to write this article. Exactly 9 years ago I was at a business meeting when a colleague came into the boardroom and turned on the TV to show us that a plane just flew into the World Trade Centre.
Every year since that fateful day people around the world have been honoring the memory of the 2,752 people who lost their life due to some misguided religious beliefs. Unfortunately this year the remembrance has been somewhat over shadowed by some publicity seeking people who have shown a total lack of sensitivity towards those who lost their loved ones 9 years ago.
First, the news that Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf and his wife Daisy Khan are planning to build an Islamic Centre two blocks from Ground Zero where Islamic extremists took so many innocent lives. Imam Rauf chose the name “Project Park 51”, a reference to the building’s address, as a means to downplay the religious symbolism of the proposed facility. While the new complex will have a mosque, Rauf contends that it will not be the main focus. Instead, it will serve as an Islamic cultural centre with sports, childcare and library facilities among other amenities. It is interesting to note that Rauf was born in Egypt and 51 Park Place was purchased for $4.8 million in July 2009 by Soho Properties, an agency managed by three Egyptians. Property in lower Manhattan is generally very expensive; 51 Park Place was listed at one time for $18 million. The building is now rundown and will require a considerable investment to transform it into the modern facility that Rauf has envisioned. It will take an estimated $100 million to build the complex. Critics fear that individuals and countries that sponsor terrorism and who are openly hostile to the United States will fund the project. Since supporters of the project have raised only a fraction of the funds required, critics are demanding a full financial investigation. It is interesting to note that Imam Rauf recently claimed on Larry King Live that he would not have started the project so close to Ground Zero had he known that it would create so much controversy. He further stated that moving it now would just fuel extremists against Americans. However, since his supporters raised only a fraction of the required money, the suggestion that individuals and countries hostile to U.S.A. will provide the needed funding because of the close proximity to Ground Zero, warrants full financial investigation.
Another insensitive news item that hit the media recently was that Pastor Terry Jones of a small Florida church planned to burn copies of Koran, the Muslim Holy book, in retaliation to building a Mosque near Ground Zero. While he backed off from burning the Koran, his plan fuelled the extremists to demonstrate against Americans. The third planned action that is highly insensitive is Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld’s announcement that he plans to open a gay bar catering to Muslim men in the space next to a proposed mosque near Ground Zero.
In remembering 9-11 we need to focus on effective solutions to the problem of religious extremism that has caused loss of lives and emotional damage in many religions not just in Islam. First we need to practice mutual respect for each other’s religious beliefs. At the same time, religious extremists must be scolded and controlled from within their denominations. The Imams need to focus on this more and educate their followers about the Holy Book that teaches about love and the sanctity of human life. Those who take human life are the infidels. The God of all religions is a loving God.
Every year since that fateful day people around the world have been honoring the memory of the 2,752 people who lost their life due to some misguided religious beliefs. Unfortunately this year the remembrance has been somewhat over shadowed by some publicity seeking people who have shown a total lack of sensitivity towards those who lost their loved ones 9 years ago.
First, the news that Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf and his wife Daisy Khan are planning to build an Islamic Centre two blocks from Ground Zero where Islamic extremists took so many innocent lives. Imam Rauf chose the name “Project Park 51”, a reference to the building’s address, as a means to downplay the religious symbolism of the proposed facility. While the new complex will have a mosque, Rauf contends that it will not be the main focus. Instead, it will serve as an Islamic cultural centre with sports, childcare and library facilities among other amenities. It is interesting to note that Rauf was born in Egypt and 51 Park Place was purchased for $4.8 million in July 2009 by Soho Properties, an agency managed by three Egyptians. Property in lower Manhattan is generally very expensive; 51 Park Place was listed at one time for $18 million. The building is now rundown and will require a considerable investment to transform it into the modern facility that Rauf has envisioned. It will take an estimated $100 million to build the complex. Critics fear that individuals and countries that sponsor terrorism and who are openly hostile to the United States will fund the project. Since supporters of the project have raised only a fraction of the funds required, critics are demanding a full financial investigation. It is interesting to note that Imam Rauf recently claimed on Larry King Live that he would not have started the project so close to Ground Zero had he known that it would create so much controversy. He further stated that moving it now would just fuel extremists against Americans. However, since his supporters raised only a fraction of the required money, the suggestion that individuals and countries hostile to U.S.A. will provide the needed funding because of the close proximity to Ground Zero, warrants full financial investigation.
Another insensitive news item that hit the media recently was that Pastor Terry Jones of a small Florida church planned to burn copies of Koran, the Muslim Holy book, in retaliation to building a Mosque near Ground Zero. While he backed off from burning the Koran, his plan fuelled the extremists to demonstrate against Americans. The third planned action that is highly insensitive is Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld’s announcement that he plans to open a gay bar catering to Muslim men in the space next to a proposed mosque near Ground Zero.
In remembering 9-11 we need to focus on effective solutions to the problem of religious extremism that has caused loss of lives and emotional damage in many religions not just in Islam. First we need to practice mutual respect for each other’s religious beliefs. At the same time, religious extremists must be scolded and controlled from within their denominations. The Imams need to focus on this more and educate their followers about the Holy Book that teaches about love and the sanctity of human life. Those who take human life are the infidels. The God of all religions is a loving God.
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