My first night in the Salvation Army hostel was a bad
experience. Many of the local guests were heavily
intoxicated and were walking around in an apparent daze. I
made a mistake of choosing the lower bunk bed without
checking out who was in the upper bunk. Well, the guy who
occupied the upper bunk was drunk and wet the bed and
some drops were coming down to where I was lying. I went
to the bathroom to clean up and when I came back I found
that someone stole from my jacket the 10 shillings that the
Red Cross gave me. At that time I had no idea of the value
of 10 shillings, I didn’t think it would buy a lot of things, but I
was looking forward to going out of the hostel the next day
to look around and buy some bread and salami (the type of
food that I was used to in Hungary).
I sat up all night on the side of the bed and went
through a wide range of emotions. It was December and
near Christmas, I thought of my parents wondering where I
was. Perhaps it would have been better if I hit a land mine
when I was crawling across the border. Why did I have to
recite that poem anyway? If I didn’t, I would be back in high
school and getting ready for law school. Now, here I am
among the drunks, no money, no job, and no one to turn to.
Then, my desperation turned into anger and said to myself
that nobody will ever piss on me again!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sample from "Dare to Take the Next Step" - Chapter: Freedom Fighter in the Student Revolution
In the woodlot, we met many other refugees. We
stopped to strategize on how to cross the border. We were
standing on the side of a strip of land freshly ploughed when
someone suggested that it could be mined. At that point, I
just wanted to get it over with. I knew that I did not want to
go to prison, there was no return to my parent’s house and
living did not appear to be a desirable option. So, I
volunteered to crawl across the border strip to see if it was
mined. At that point in time, I had enough and the possibility
of being blown up did not frighten me at all. Everyone stood
in silence as I started my journey, lying on my stomach,
pooling myself one elbow after another. At each move, I
expected to be blown up. It was the longest 10 minutes of
my life before reaching Austria. When I reached the other
side, I got up, stood beside a tree and watched as about 200
refugees crawled on my track, one after another. Everyone
made it safe and the ordeal was over. With tearful eyes I
said goodbye to my beloved motherland.
stopped to strategize on how to cross the border. We were
standing on the side of a strip of land freshly ploughed when
someone suggested that it could be mined. At that point, I
just wanted to get it over with. I knew that I did not want to
go to prison, there was no return to my parent’s house and
living did not appear to be a desirable option. So, I
volunteered to crawl across the border strip to see if it was
mined. At that point in time, I had enough and the possibility
of being blown up did not frighten me at all. Everyone stood
in silence as I started my journey, lying on my stomach,
pooling myself one elbow after another. At each move, I
expected to be blown up. It was the longest 10 minutes of
my life before reaching Austria. When I reached the other
side, I got up, stood beside a tree and watched as about 200
refugees crawled on my track, one after another. Everyone
made it safe and the ordeal was over. With tearful eyes I
said goodbye to my beloved motherland.
Sample from "Dare to Take the Next Step" - Chapter: Freedom Fighter in the Student Revolution
As former Chairman of the Youth Revolutionary
Council, I found myself facing the possibility of going to jail or
even be shot. The news spread quickly that the police has
started to round up students who were youth leaders in the
revolution. Some of them were shot on the spot, while others
were imprisoned. So, I went into hiding in the village,
sleeping in barns and hay stacks, changing my location
frequently.
On Sunday evening, November 18th my grandfather
brought me food to my hiding place and told me that he
overheard in the smoke shop that a police captain, called
Pallosi, who was originally from the village but now was a
senior police officer in a nearby town, was looking for me. He
was telling people that he was looking for that Hegyi kid the
next day at noon on the steps of the church. He will be shot
like the rest of the teenage terrorists.
For the last time, I sat on the knee of grandfather as I
gave him a big hug, and then asked him what should I do?
Should I come out of hiding or should I try to make it to
Austria? Grandfather looked at me with tearful eyes and
said: “Remember what they did to your uncle István, I don’t
want that to happen to you, I love you grandson”. We then
stood and grandfather looked at me with a far away look in
his eyes and said: “Go to the big world, live our dream”. We
both agreed that we shouldn’t tell my parents about this plan
because they would be too emotional to understand the
danger that I was in. We then talked about how I could send
a message back from Austria (if I make it) to let them know
that I was safe without putting the family in harms way with
the police. We agreed on a coded message through Radio
Free Europe: “Golden lamb has arrived safely”. My
grandfather said that he will be glued to the radio and when
he hears this message, he will then talk to my parents.
Knowing that this was the last time that I would see my
grandfather was a deeply emotional moment for me. The
tears blurred my vision as I watched his tall figure disappear
in the darkness.
Council, I found myself facing the possibility of going to jail or
even be shot. The news spread quickly that the police has
started to round up students who were youth leaders in the
revolution. Some of them were shot on the spot, while others
were imprisoned. So, I went into hiding in the village,
sleeping in barns and hay stacks, changing my location
frequently.
On Sunday evening, November 18th my grandfather
brought me food to my hiding place and told me that he
overheard in the smoke shop that a police captain, called
Pallosi, who was originally from the village but now was a
senior police officer in a nearby town, was looking for me. He
was telling people that he was looking for that Hegyi kid the
next day at noon on the steps of the church. He will be shot
like the rest of the teenage terrorists.
For the last time, I sat on the knee of grandfather as I
gave him a big hug, and then asked him what should I do?
Should I come out of hiding or should I try to make it to
Austria? Grandfather looked at me with tearful eyes and
said: “Remember what they did to your uncle István, I don’t
want that to happen to you, I love you grandson”. We then
stood and grandfather looked at me with a far away look in
his eyes and said: “Go to the big world, live our dream”. We
both agreed that we shouldn’t tell my parents about this plan
because they would be too emotional to understand the
danger that I was in. We then talked about how I could send
a message back from Austria (if I make it) to let them know
that I was safe without putting the family in harms way with
the police. We agreed on a coded message through Radio
Free Europe: “Golden lamb has arrived safely”. My
grandfather said that he will be glued to the radio and when
he hears this message, he will then talk to my parents.
Knowing that this was the last time that I would see my
grandfather was a deeply emotional moment for me. The
tears blurred my vision as I watched his tall figure disappear
in the darkness.
Sample from "Dare to Take the Next Step" - Chapter: Freedom Fighter in the Student Revolution
On October 23rd, students of the Budapest
Technical University started a peaceful march to show their
support for the Poles, to demonstrate that Hungary wanted
to be politically and economically independent, and to end
the Soviet occupation. They were joined by workers and
others. Some went to the Bem stature; others went to the
Petöfi stature while a group went to tear down the Stalin
stature because it represented Soviet dominance over
Hungary. Later that evening the students tried to broadcast
their demands at the Hungarian Radio Station. The Radio
Building was guarded by a detachment of the AVH. When
the crowd began to threaten the building after a student
delegation was detained within, the AVH opened fire on the
demonstrators which included women and children. This
action killed several and wounding many more. This was the
moment when the unrest and frustration of thousands of
people turned from peaceful protest to revolution.
Technical University started a peaceful march to show their
support for the Poles, to demonstrate that Hungary wanted
to be politically and economically independent, and to end
the Soviet occupation. They were joined by workers and
others. Some went to the Bem stature; others went to the
Petöfi stature while a group went to tear down the Stalin
stature because it represented Soviet dominance over
Hungary. Later that evening the students tried to broadcast
their demands at the Hungarian Radio Station. The Radio
Building was guarded by a detachment of the AVH. When
the crowd began to threaten the building after a student
delegation was detained within, the AVH opened fire on the
demonstrators which included women and children. This
action killed several and wounding many more. This was the
moment when the unrest and frustration of thousands of
people turned from peaceful protest to revolution.
Sample from "Dare to Take the Next Step" - Chapter: Living under communist terror
After Stalin’s death, the suppression of people by the
communists eased. We were all taken back with the
changes that occurred when Nagy replaced Rakosi as prime
minister. He freed the political prisoners, including my uncle
István When uncle István came home from the labour camp
in Recsk the family huddled up behind closed doors to hear
what happened to him. We could hardly believe that human
beings could be that cruel. He was severely beaten daily
when he was at the AVH holding cell in Szombathely. But
when he was interned at the AVH headquarters in Budapest
where Cardinal Mindszenty was interned (60 Andrássy ut)
the real cruelty reached unbelievable heights.
Uncle István described the tortures he received in the
basement cells at the AVH headquarters. He spent nights
bare-footed in a cell that had water running through it with
rats swimming around. The cruelty included:
Beatings with rubber batons until he became
unconscious
Two or three policemen would kick him with boots when
he was tackled down to the floor until he passed out
Standing naked in a small cell and if he leaned on a wall,
would receive a painful electric shock
Shoving salt into his mouth then was forced to drink
water from the toilet bowl
Going without food for days
Going without sleep for many nights and days
Being handcuffed and in leg irons for several days and
nights.
communists eased. We were all taken back with the
changes that occurred when Nagy replaced Rakosi as prime
minister. He freed the political prisoners, including my uncle
István When uncle István came home from the labour camp
in Recsk the family huddled up behind closed doors to hear
what happened to him. We could hardly believe that human
beings could be that cruel. He was severely beaten daily
when he was at the AVH holding cell in Szombathely. But
when he was interned at the AVH headquarters in Budapest
where Cardinal Mindszenty was interned (60 Andrássy ut)
the real cruelty reached unbelievable heights.
Uncle István described the tortures he received in the
basement cells at the AVH headquarters. He spent nights
bare-footed in a cell that had water running through it with
rats swimming around. The cruelty included:
Beatings with rubber batons until he became
unconscious
Two or three policemen would kick him with boots when
he was tackled down to the floor until he passed out
Standing naked in a small cell and if he leaned on a wall,
would receive a painful electric shock
Shoving salt into his mouth then was forced to drink
water from the toilet bowl
Going without food for days
Going without sleep for many nights and days
Being handcuffed and in leg irons for several days and
nights.
Sample from "Dare to Take the Next Step" - Chapter: Living under communist terror
With the opposition parties disbanded and the trade
unions became ineffective, the churches became the
communists' main source of opposition. The government had
expropriated the churches' property with the land reform, and
in July 1948 it nationalized church schools. Protestant
church leaders reached a compromise with the government,
but the head of the Roman Catholic Church, Cardinal Jozsef
Mindszenty, resisted. He was arrested on December 26,
1948. Rákosi, head of the communist party and Kádár,
Minster of Interior, have already determined what
Mindszenty had to confess and Gábor Péter was given the
task of getting the confession from the Cardinal. The
accusation was that the Cardinal was actively working
against the democratic order of the Hungarian government,
he was a foreign spy, was involved in money laundering, he
supported the fascists (even though he was jailed by the
Arrow party) and was trying to organize the Habsburgs to
defeat the democratic government of the people. Mindszenty
of course denied these false accusations so the torture
began.
Mindszenty was taken to the headquarters of the
AVH, located at 60 Andrássy ut, and into the basement
cellar which had no heat (on December 26th). AVH police
tore off all his cloths while making fun of him and gave him a
striped outfit like what clowns used to wear to change into.
The leader of the interrogation (AVH colonel) told him that:
“You better understand that the confession is not what
you want to say but what we want to hear”
unions became ineffective, the churches became the
communists' main source of opposition. The government had
expropriated the churches' property with the land reform, and
in July 1948 it nationalized church schools. Protestant
church leaders reached a compromise with the government,
but the head of the Roman Catholic Church, Cardinal Jozsef
Mindszenty, resisted. He was arrested on December 26,
1948. Rákosi, head of the communist party and Kádár,
Minster of Interior, have already determined what
Mindszenty had to confess and Gábor Péter was given the
task of getting the confession from the Cardinal. The
accusation was that the Cardinal was actively working
against the democratic order of the Hungarian government,
he was a foreign spy, was involved in money laundering, he
supported the fascists (even though he was jailed by the
Arrow party) and was trying to organize the Habsburgs to
defeat the democratic government of the people. Mindszenty
of course denied these false accusations so the torture
began.
Mindszenty was taken to the headquarters of the
AVH, located at 60 Andrássy ut, and into the basement
cellar which had no heat (on December 26th). AVH police
tore off all his cloths while making fun of him and gave him a
striped outfit like what clowns used to wear to change into.
The leader of the interrogation (AVH colonel) told him that:
“You better understand that the confession is not what
you want to say but what we want to hear”
Sample from "Dare to Take the Next Step"
In June 1952 I finished grade 8 and was hoping to go
to Gimnázium (high school). Because of my father’s
resistance to join the collective farm and my uncle’s
imprisonment, I was refused admission to high school and
was told to sign up as laborer in the local collective farm.
By the time winter came our food supply was mostly gone.
Father worked in the stables of the collective farm, looking
after cows. He was able to bring home milk every day but
was not going to get paid until the next year’s harvest. The
communists broke his spirit as he was not able to provide
for his family. He was always a very proud man, a little bit
on the stubborn side, and seeing his family hungry put him
into deep depression. One night as we watched my 7 year
old sister crying herself to sleep because she was hungry,
my hatred towards the communists intensified. I vowed for
revenge at the right opportunity. Now, I had to focus on
helping our family to survive.
to Gimnázium (high school). Because of my father’s
resistance to join the collective farm and my uncle’s
imprisonment, I was refused admission to high school and
was told to sign up as laborer in the local collective farm.
By the time winter came our food supply was mostly gone.
Father worked in the stables of the collective farm, looking
after cows. He was able to bring home milk every day but
was not going to get paid until the next year’s harvest. The
communists broke his spirit as he was not able to provide
for his family. He was always a very proud man, a little bit
on the stubborn side, and seeing his family hungry put him
into deep depression. One night as we watched my 7 year
old sister crying herself to sleep because she was hungry,
my hatred towards the communists intensified. I vowed for
revenge at the right opportunity. Now, I had to focus on
helping our family to survive.
Sample from "Dare to Take the Next Step" - Chapter War years
Then our peaceful little world was gradually shaken
up by the war.
First, we saw the SS soldiers and Hungarian police
were taking the Rosenthal family into a truck on a Sunday
as we were coming out of church. They were hitting them
with their rifles as they were taken from their home. Mr.
Rosenthal owned the shop where I used to buy candies. He
used to give me an extra one and was always nice to me
and called me Ferike. Then I saw his son, who was also
called Ferike, run to his Daddy crying: “Papa, Papa I love
you.” Mr. Rosenthal picked up Ferike and I saw him crying,
too. Then one of the soldiers hit him in the stomach with his
rifle as he fell into the truck still holding his son. I asked my
father why are the soldiers taking the Rosenthals away from
their home? Father said: “Because they are Jews and the
SS are very bad. The Nazi’s are taking Jewish people into
concentration camps and killing them.”
up by the war.
First, we saw the SS soldiers and Hungarian police
were taking the Rosenthal family into a truck on a Sunday
as we were coming out of church. They were hitting them
with their rifles as they were taken from their home. Mr.
Rosenthal owned the shop where I used to buy candies. He
used to give me an extra one and was always nice to me
and called me Ferike. Then I saw his son, who was also
called Ferike, run to his Daddy crying: “Papa, Papa I love
you.” Mr. Rosenthal picked up Ferike and I saw him crying,
too. Then one of the soldiers hit him in the stomach with his
rifle as he fell into the truck still holding his son. I asked my
father why are the soldiers taking the Rosenthals away from
their home? Father said: “Because they are Jews and the
SS are very bad. The Nazi’s are taking Jewish people into
concentration camps and killing them.”
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